Hanging On
by flowerlovespower
Summary: Jesse and Suze are married and moving on to the future, but what happens when Paul can't seem to let go of the past? Rated T for language and suggestive material.
1. Chapter 1

Alrighty, dear people of fanfiction. I have decided to give this thing a try. This takes place when Jesse and Suze are married. Very soap opera-ish and probably really lame so just R & R, okay?

Here goes nothing.

I sighed when I woke up. Jesse had left the bathroom light on again.

I mean, just because he has to get up early for his all-important job as a doctor at the local hospital doesn't mean he has to wake up the rest of the house, right?

It was just going to be one of those days; I could tell. One of those days where the slightest thing can completely set me off.

Groaning, I rolled out of bed and stumbled under the spray of the shower for a few minutes. After angrily flipping the switch DOWN in the bathroom, I dressed and walked downstairs for breakfast.

Sitting at the table was Paul Slater.

"PAUL!" I screamed. I mean, come on. You would scream too if you woke up to find a (cough, cough -- extremely hot -- cough, cough) guy in your kitchen.

"Hello, Suze," he said with a smirk.

"How….. how did you get in here?"

"Found the spare key under the doormat. You really need to hide those things better, Suze. You never know who may pop in." He gave me another one of his all-famous smirks.

I rolled my eyes at this comment. Hey, it was a natural reflex to act normal when inside I was COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT.

"What are you doing here anyways, Slater? I haven't seen you since graduation."

"And what a FINE day that was, don't you agree, Suzie?"

My cheeks flamed at this comment. "Don't call me Suzie, you asshole!"

"Noticed your boy Jesse's not around. What's he been up to lately anyway?"

"He's a doctor," I spat. Paul was really pissing me off now, especially about the graduation comment. "Now cut to the crap, Paul. Why are you here?"

"Oh, I just thought I'd, you know, drop by and see if we could get together." He got up from the table now and walked towards me. "Whuddya say, Simon?"

His fingers brushed against my arm and sparks flew up. I immediately raised my hand to flick him off, but he caught my wrist in one of his strong, tan hands.

"What's this?" he said in a voice so sweet it could only be a bad thing. He was prying up one of my fingers from the fist my hand had curled into.

It was my ring finger.

"So, the rumors I heard back in Carmel were true," he said when he spied the golden wedding band. "You and old Jesse are hitched."

I snatched my hand back, ready to defend myself. Paul looked mighty pissed off now.

"This isn't the last you'll see of me, Suze." And with that, he stalked to the door and slammed it behind him.

I sunk into a chair at the kitchen table, the one Paul had been sitting in a moment before.

What had gone wrong? Sure there was the graduation thing…. But I though Paul and I had a truce long before that. Something must have really set him off….

And with a startling jolt, I realized exactly what that was.

Okay, sorry that was really short but…..what's happened between Paul and Suze? Find out only if ya review! HA!

Love y'all,

Lucy


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks so much to my lovely reviewer Masako Moonshade! Now, on with the story!

Wait, I forgot, I need a disclaimer: I'm not Meg Cabot and all the characters you recognize belong to her.

Not sure why we put that there, but I see it on all other stories so… cool!

-8-

I slammed through the kitchen door and ran straight to the living room onto the couch. Work had sucked.

And I guess it makes sense. I mean, working in a bank just seems to constantly remind me of how much money there is in the world that doesn't belong to me.

At least I had Jesse. Without his constant income as a doctor, I'd probably be living in a box on the street.

_Jesse._ I thought to myself. Somehow, thinking of him reminded me of my encounter with Paul earlier that day.

I snorted to myself. Like I needed reminding. I had been completely spacing out at work today thinking about it and was nearly fired. Shirley said that if it happened again, I'd be stuck in the back counting out those paper tubes people put coins in.

Suddenly, the knob to the back door was slowly turning and a large figure loomed in the window.

Jesse was home.

I smiled as I watched him slowly lumber through the kitchen and come towards the couch. He threw a lazy kiss at my cheek and then slumped down next to me.

"How was your day?" he said while pulling off his shoes.

"Pretty sucky," I responded, trying to sound tired and uninterested. Inside, however, I was freaking out. What if Jesse found out about Paul? Would he be mad at him? Would he be mad at me?

"So that makes two of us." I could tell he was having one of those days. Of course, Jesse loved being a doctor, but some days there's just that gloomy atmosphere, you know?

"I'm pretty beat. Thinking of going to bed early," I mumbled and stood up to walk towards the bedroom.

"I'll be in after I eat something," Jesse mumbled back and lumbered off towards the kitchen again.

I tried to keep my gait normal as I left the room, but it ended up as a sort of limp/jog. I had to get away from him and sort out my feeling about this morning before I talked to him again.

When I reached the bed, I fell flat onto it, and then rolled over to the bedside table. I pulled out my calligraphy pen from a drawer and admired its elegance. Then, in a random moment of Suze crazy-ness, I flipped over and began to write on the wall above the headboard of the bed.

Emotions seemed to be pouring out of the pen like a waterfall, but when I looked back at what I had written my entire mind seemed to dry up like a starfish under a heat lamp.

I LOVE PAUL

It was written there plainly on the wall. Just three little words that I hadn't even realized I had written. I stared dumbly at them for a few seconds and then heard Jesse's footsteps approaching.

My heart seemed to seize tightly in my chest. I desperately shoved the wicked pen under the bed and then licked my thumb and began to rub desperately at the wall.

I had managed to completely rub out "I LOVE" but Paul's curse still remained there in clear black ink. Jesse was turning the knob in that slow, tired way of his after a long day so I simply sat up as high as I could and managed to have my hair be covering the word.

"Susannah… what are you doing?" Jesse asked, chuckling a bit. I realized I must look fairly ridiculous, sitting on the bed with my hands holding me up as though the bed were on fire.

"Oh, just…" I searched my mind frantically. "Yoga?"

_Suze, you idiot! That was possibly the stupidest thing you could have said at that moment!_ I thought to myself. But I had to go with it. I folded my legs Indian style and sat there, my arms shaking from exertion. Then I tried to look slow and peaceful as I shifted to a kneeling position so the weight was off my arms. I kept my eyes closed, hoping this would be a bit of a "go away" signal.

No such luck. Jesse laughed and came to sit next to me on the bed.

I completely panicked. "Jesse, I think there's, um, a message for you. On the answering machine. Which is in the kitchen. And… um…. You should go check it."

_Bad, Suze! More stupid lies!_

"Well… I thought there were no messages, but I guess I missed it." Jesse looked a bit confused and hurt as he lifted himself off the bed and slid through the doorway.

Sighing in relief, I turned to face the wall. Paul's name still stared out at me, with an ugly gray halo around it from where I'd rubbed at the wall. I looked at it for a moment, then turned and ran into the bathroom where I grabbed a rag and dampened it. I wiped at the wall with it and watched the words magically disappear.

If only life were that easy.

Jesse came back in to report that there were no messages and climbed into bed.

"Querida…. There was never any message, was there?" he sounded sad, with a bit of exhaustion too.

"No, Jesse, there wasn't." I don't know what I was thinking because this was clearly going to lead to the confession I didn't want to make.

"Why did you want me to leave the room?"

"I…" I couldn't think of what to say. Sorry, Jesse, I professed my love for the person you hate most in the world on the wall of our bedroom?

"Well… there was… I mean… I have a surprise for you in the making and I didn't want you to see it," I gushed.

"Oh. Alright then," Jesse sounded relieved. He leaned over to kiss me.

"'Night, querida."

"'Night, Jesse."

And with that, we both fell asleep.

-$-

Okay, I admit. I write things in calligraphy pen on my wall.

There's a bit of a gray spot behind my headboard now.

Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks sooooo much to bbblfl, Brooke, trisisabel, and The Setting Sun, my lovely reviewers! You guys are sososososo cool!

There were some questions on the time frame: Suze is in her late 20's and Jesse in his early 30's. They've been married for about 5 years so, no, the mysterious thing with Paul did not happen when Suze was married, but it did happen when she and Jesse were dating.

Also, a big shout-out to my friend Reneé! Happy Birthday! YOU ROCK MY SOX!

On with the story!

-$-

I didn't see Paul the rest of the week.

On Tuesday, I was still spacing a bit at work, but by Friday I was fairly convinced Paul was gone. I was totally focused that day to make up for how terribly I'd been working that week.

"Good work, Simon." Shirley slapped me on the shoulder as I walked out the door and she had a pretty strong arm. It must be from lifting those enormous stacks of money all day.

As I walked out the door with my arm at an odd angle as to rub at my sore shoulder, my elbow crashed right into someone's face.

"I'm so sorry!" I gushed before seeing it was none other than Paul, waiting for me to get off from work.

"Oh. It's you. Well, alrighty then." I gave my hair a quick toss before hurrying down the sidewalk away from him.

Paul, who had been silent up until then due to the amount of blood gushing from his nose screamed after me, "SUZE! WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, YOU BITCH! YOU BROKE MY GODDAMN NOSE!"

A few people that had, unfortunately, been passing by at that moment turned to give Paul, then me, then Paul again, an odd glance. A middle-aged woman pushed her toddler a little faster down the sidewalk as the child inquired as to what a "bitch" was.

Then Paul began chasing me like mad down the street. I didn't even try to escape. I knew he'd probably catch up with me anyways, so why bother? I could always make his eye match his nose if he tried anything.

When he finally caught up to me, I had a few things to tell him about his language.

"You know Paul, you should really set a better example for the children," I said to him, batting my eyelashes.

He rolled his eyes. "Just get in the car, Simon." He beckoned toward a shiny, silver convertible parked just down the street.

"As _tempting_ as it is," I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster. "I'd rather walk." And with that, I started down the street again.

"Suuuze," Paul called after me in a sickly sweet voice. "You may want to get in the car, or I may take a spin down to the hospital and give your boy Jesse a call. He might want to know about our summer fun under the bleachers."

I whirled around to face him and he winked at me. "I was drunk at that party, and you know it, Slater. It was you who spiked my drink after all. I'm not so sure Jesse would like to hear _that_ either."

If Paul was nervous about this statement, he didn't show it. "Come on Suze, just take a spin around the block with me. We can just catch up. You know, tie up a few loose ends."

I don't know what possibly possessed me to do it. Maybe it was the sincere, innocent way he smiled or the gleaming, tempting convertible in the background. In any case, I agreed and said I would go for a ride.

"But if you pull anything, Slater, I swear to God…." I grumbled as I slid into the black leather seat.

"Just relax, Suze." And with that, he began chatting casually about what he'd been up to the past ten years.

Apparently, he'd become a lawyer and lived in San Diego but still often went back and visited Carmel. He said he enjoyed all the "memories" from there and gave me a meaningful look. When I rolled my eyes and stared out the window, he asked what I'd been up to.

I filled him on how I married Jesse and we'd moved here to Philadelphia. I was working in a bank right now, but once I raised enough money I wanted to become a therapist.

"I knew you were destined to help people, Suze. You really like to take on other people's problems. Speaking of taking on problems… have you…. ?" He gave me a look.

"Just a few smaller cases here and there, nothing major lately." I said quietly. We both were silent for a few moments, thinking.

What had happened, anyway? Since I'd married Jesse, I'd only encountered maybe 30 or 40 ghosts and none of them had had major problems. Back in high school I'd met one or two a week.

Was it possible that my mediator powers were wearing thing? Did marrying Jesse have to do with anything, or was it just age? I knew Father D had been pretty old, yet he encountered just as many ghosts as ever right up until he died two years ago.

Was I perhaps not as strong a mediator as him?

"Paul…" I started. "Do you think it's possible that our powers can… fade?"

We were pulling into my driveway now. Paul shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, Suze, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. You see… I discovered another power of shifters. We can also perform some minor… well, curses."

I immediately turned to face him.

"What do you mean, Paul!" I yelled. "What have you done? If you did anything to Jesse, I swear to God…"

"No, I didn't. The person I cursed was…. well, it was you, Suze."

-$-

What's that crazy Paul been up to? Heh….

Please review, and ask questions if anything was unclear!


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry guys, I may not be able to update very much for the next two weeks. Next week is hell week for a play I'm in and the week after is hell week for dance. YAY! Many tears and headaches and not-updating for awhile. Plus I have a 15 page report for science due Monday… KILL SCIENCE! Uh… okay then.

Thanks a billion to all my reviewers. I love you all so much!

Also, this chapter may suck, I've been having a really tough time writing it for some reason.

Now, after that horridly long author's note, on with the story!

-$-

"_Me!_ You cursed… _me?_"

I honestly couldn't believe it. The only words that seemed to form in my head were '_what the hell?'_ over and over again.

"Um… yeah." Paul licked his lips nervously.

I sat silently for a moment. Then, I felt finally capable of forming semi-articulate words. "What'd you… When was….. _why?_"

Somehow, Paul understood the three barely formed questions I was trying to ask.

"It was at the after graduation party." Paul muttered, turning away slightly.

Well, duh. I mean, what HADN'T happened at that party?

"After we… you know," Paul continued.

"Made out?" I suggested sarcastically. I wasn't sure why he was being so squeamish about kissing.

"Suze." He looked slightly shocked. "We did more than kiss."

"We… WHAT!" I yelled. I couldn't believe it. I had SLEPT with Paul Slater and didn't even know it.

"I thought you knew!" he yelled back.

"I was DRUNK, you moron! All I know is what you told me!" I was steaming that he hadn't revealed this information to me.

"I did tell you, Simon! You were probably leaning over the toilet at that point with your stomach hanging out your mouth!" he seemed pretty pissed that I was yelling at him.

"Thanks for the image, Slater. And thanks for everything else too," I grumbled angrily and got out of the car. I slammed the door as hard as possible behind me.

When I reached the door and was about to turn the handle, I realized Jesse would be home.

Jesse.

After what I had just learned, I didn't think I would be able to face him. I would be too embarrassed, ashamed.

Angry at my idiocy, I whirled around and marched right back to Paul Slater and his stupid fancy car.

"We're going to your place. Then you're going to tell me exactly what happened and what all this curse crap is about." I commanded, sitting back down in the passenger seat.

Paul didn't say anything, but started the engine and pulled out of the driveway.

We drove to a nice looking motel. It wasn't a German castle or anything, but it wasn't drug-filled hole in the ground either.

I followed him up the steps to his room. When he opened the door, I crossed the room and sat down in a chair. Paul sat across from me on the bed.

"Alright, Slater, tell this thing from beginning to end, and tell it right."

Paul began.

(A/N: The italics are a memory. There is some present dialogue in the middle; that is not italicized.)

_Suze sat in a chair in the corner of the room. She was pretty annoyed. I mean, this party sucked and she had nobody to hang out with._

_Suddenly, she spotted Paul out of the corner of her eye. He was already chatting up two other gorgeous looking girls, but Suze was desperate so she made her way over to him immediately. _

_Paul broke away from the two girls with a smile on his face._

"_Suze! Didn't think this was your kind of thing."_

"_It's not." She replied in a bored tone. Paul picked up on her lonliness right away._

"_So where's… Jesse?" he questioned._

"_Studying. He has a huge final tomorrow, but wanted me to come to this party and 'socialize.'"_

"_Well, Simon, you looked pretty damn social over in that corner all by yourself," Paul said grinning. "Go grab your purse and I'll take you somewhere fun. Here, I'll hold your drink. What is this anyways?"_

"_Diet Coke." she muttered._

"_No wonder you're not having fun!" Paul looked surprised. Suze rolled her eyes and went to grab her purse._

_It was too bad she didn't look behind her. Otherwise she may have seen Paul run over to the refreshments table and mix her Coke with something a little stronger._

"Nice one, Slater. Pull a girl away from a party AND get her completely trashed." I growled at him.

"God, Suze, would you let me tell the story?" Paul sounded pretty irritated, probably at his own stupidity.

It was a rhetorical question. I needn't answer.

_They pulled into the driveway of Paul's house._

_Suze, completely drunk at that point, did not protest when Paul led her up the stairs to his bedroom._

(A/N: I'm skipping ahead to later that night to keep this rated T!)

_Paul and Suze lay next to each other on the bed, just thinking. Well, maybe Paul was thinking. Suze was too trashed to process anything._

"_Suze… will you still be dating Jesse after this?" Paul sounded worried._

"_Of course not, Paulie. I love you."_

"Paul! That so did not happen!" I blushed, thinking of the incident with the calligraphy pen on the wall.

"Well, Suze, that's what you said and I'm just repeating the story, so shut up and listen!"

I obliged to his wishes.

"_Good," he said, smiling._

_Then he thought a moment. Would she stay true to her word? Paul got up and started leafing through a book on the table next to him. When he found the page he wanted, he quickly skimmed it, then placed a hand on Suze's forehead._

_Concentrating hard on exactly what he wanted to happen, he saw a green glow form around his hand._

"_Paul!" Suze giggled in a rather ditzy manner. "Stop that! It tickles!"_

"_Shhh…" Paul muttered, not really paying much attention to Suze. _

_When the glowing green died down, he removed his hand and sat back, satisfied._

_They slept for a few more hours until Suze suddenly sat up in bed, put a hand to her mouth, and ran out the hall towards the bathroom._

"_Oh, shit." Paul muttered. He followed her down the hall._

_In between heaves, Suze managed to sputter out, "What… where… how…?"_

_Paul tried to answer Suze's questions, but doubted she heard him. She didn't seem to be responding at all, just barfing into the toilet more._

_They stumbled back to bed after Suze's two hour long regurgitation-fest. When Paul woke up in the morning, Suze was gone._

"Well," I started when I heard this ridiculous tale. "First of all, I have no memory of you telling me we slept together while I threw up in the bathroom."

"That's been established, Suze," Paul stated. "You were half-asleep."

"And also," I continued. "What was that green glowing crap? What the hell did you do to me?"

"I… well… I thought that maybe you would still go back to Jesse after what happened. So, I put a curse on you that if you ever married Jesse your mediator powers would slowly fade."

"Why marriage? Why not just dating?"

"The spell can't determine whether or not people are dating. It's too confusing. The spell is only effective on official wedding vows."

"So why didn't you stick around after that night?" I pondered.

"I was… well, embarrassed that I had cursed you. I was afraid you would find out…" Paul couldn't seem to continue.

"Couldn't you just remove the curse?"

"It's irreversible," he stated shortly. "When I heard you and Jesse were hitched, I wanted to come back and see if I could do anything about it."

"But you can't. Because the curse it irreversible." I was pretty pissed off now.

"Well… yeah. Pretty much."

"YEAH! PRETTY MUCH!" If I was pissed before, I was beyond outraged now. "YOU PUT A CURSE ON ME THAT CANNOT BE CHANGED AND ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS 'PRETTY MUCH'? WELL, THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU, PAUL SLATER!"

With that, I flicked him off and jumped up to leave.

It was too bad Paul Slater was so damn strong.

-$-

Eurgh, okay, I don't like that chapter very much. Anyways, review please! Especially in this stressful time of need. Thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

Yay! I promised myself if I could get all the research done and the first page of my report written, I would let myself write another chapter.

I'm going to write a terribly long rant now, so just skip ahead to the -$- if you actually want to read the chapter.

WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT MARS! Sure, we may evacuate there in the next billion years, but come on! We get it! Our lives have been completely screwed by machinery (except you, lovely computer. Oh, how I love my computer) and pollution! The next planet we're going to go trash is probably Mars! There's the bottom line, so why do I have to write such a goddamn long essay on it!

Okey dokey, all done. Here's my chapter, typed up on my beloved computer (her name's Henrietta after the lovely Meg Cabot's kitty).

-$-

"No way, Suze. You're not leaving me. Not this time," Paul growled.

His firm grasp around my upper arm tightened. I should have felt afraid that he would hurt me, but instead I only thought shallowly about how Paul was touching me.

I looked into Paul's hypnotic blue eyes, trying to hypnotize him right back into letting me go. I didn't want to leave, but at the same time I knew I had to. I didn't want to feel what I was feeling right now, which was the sparks flying around my arm where Paul held it.

I wanted to go back to Jesse and not feel like I was practically cheating on him.

With this thought in mind, I tried to fight back.

"Paul! Let go of me, you ass!" I screamed, attempting to wrench my arm from him.

He stood back, a strange look in his eyes. He said nothing in protest as I reached for the doorknob.

However, when I was nearly into the hallway, I heard him murmur softly.

"I thought cursing you to lose your powers if you ever left me was enough. But now I've decided it's not."

I froze fearfully for a moment. However, I then realized it was best to just flee the scene and hope I wouldn't be hurt.

Paul didn't try to stop me as I walked down the hall towards the staircase. I was afraid he would try to chase me down the hall (God knows he would be able to catch me), but the door to his room remained firmly shut.

In the cab on the way home, I mused over what Paul had said. It wasn't enough? Was he really so crazy that he thought cursing me wasn't enough?

When the cab pulled up in front of my house, I paid the driver and ambled up to the door. I wasn't sure if I wanted to face Jesse or hide.

However, when I saw his worried face in the window I decided I most definitely wanted to hide.

"Querida! Where have you been! You've had me worried to death for over two hours!"

I felt like a teenage being yelled at for being out past her curfew.

"I know, Jesse, I'm sorry. I was…." I trailed off. Should I tell him? I knew if I did, he would beat the living crap out of Paul.

I wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

However, in the end, I decided I had to tell him. I was already keeping so much from him about the party, and if this was hanging over me too I don't think I would be able to take it.

"I was with Paul. Paul Slater." I said lamely. As if that would soften the blow.

Surprisingly, Jesse did not scream and yell as I had expected. Instead, something much worse happened.

He stood completely still. His face turned a shocking white, then a red deeper and more intense than I knew human faces could turn. His lips became a tight line and then completely disappeared.

His eyes. I couldn't even describe the fury I saw in them. His eyes showed only anger and hatred.

No, I was wrong. There was something else there too.

Love. And concern.

My eyes began to dampen, but I forced myself to go on. "I have more to tell you, Jesse, but I need you to calm down first."

He turned away from me, his shoulders rising and falling evenly. We remained in this awkward, frozen scenario for a few moments, but it seemed like those few moments were my entire life flying by.

I didn't know if he was trying to calm himself or was only getting angrier. However, when he turned around I could see it was the preferred option.

His eyes and mouth were still the same, but at least his complexion had turned a bit more normal.

"Yes. I am ready to listen." He said in an oddly tight, strained voice.

I continued on, my voice being extremely high pitched and wavy.

"There is something I never told you. That party you sent me to after graduation while you studied…. Well, I saw Paul there. He spiked my drink and then took me back to his house."

At this point I couldn't keep talking because tears began streaming down my face at the look on Jesse's face. It was a look of pure hatred, something stronger than what I had ever felt in my life. I was so afraid, afraid because I did not know who Jesse was angry with.

However, all I could do at this point was continue.

"At his house, he cursed me. He didn't want me to leave him and wanted me punished if I ever did. The curse was that if I married you, I would slowly lose my mediation powers." I said this part quickly, for I knew it was the part that would be the most upsetting to Jesse.

I was right. He tuned right back in to the Red-Giant star-faced man I had seen a few moments ago (A/N: CURSE YOU, SCIENCE!)

For a few minutes, Jesse was silent. Then he managed to murmur out, "Where. Is. He. Staying," in a barely audible voice.

"Paradise Inn," I squeaked automatically, then instantly regretted my words.

_Oh, crap! He's going to beat the hell out of Paul!_

"Get in the car, querida." he said shortly.

"Jesse, no! Just stay here a minute, think it over!" I was openly sobbing now.

"NO!" Jesse yelled. I silenced immediately. I had never heard him raise his voice.

However, he seemed to flinch as those his own words had slapped him.

"I'm so sorry, querida. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just…" he didn't finish his sentence. Instead, he marched over to the kitchen door and flung it open. I knew he would find Paul one way or another, so I decided it was best to follow him and try to make the damage a little less fatal.

Neither of us said a word on the long drive to the Paradise Inn. When we arrived at the front desk, Jesse spat out Paul's name and the woman gave us his room number.

(A/N: I don't know if they would just give out that information, I've only stayed in a motel/hotel a few times.)

When we reached 201B, Jesse knocked heavily on the door.

I heard Paul mumble out a, "Yeah?"

Jesse looked to me and I looked back for a moment. Then I walked over to the door and called out, "It's me, Paul."

I heard him scurry towards the door. He pulled it open with a happy cry of, "Suze!"

However, when he saw the party accompanying me, he grabbed my arm and yanked me inside. Then he shut the door with a finalizing shut in Jesse's face.

"PAUL!" I screamed as loud as possible. "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!"

I needn't worry, however, because at that moment a horrid crash came from the doorway, and there stood Jesse, breathing heavily. He'd broken the door down.

And he sure as hell didn't look too happy about it.

-$-

I know this sounds like the climax of the story, but it isn't. I wouldn't make it THAT short!

Please, please, please review! It helps to know people are reading my story!

And I'm really trying to make the chapters longer. I'm just too impatient to remain sitting for that long! Heh… okay…. yeah…..


	6. Chapter 6

Hello, my lovelies. This chapter is being put up in honor of trisisable, who reviewed 3 times and finally convinced me to finish this chapter no matter how busy I am 

After re-reading the last chapter, I agree with one of my reviewers that it was a bit dramatic ) So, I'm trying to tone it down a bit, but still make it interesting.

By the way, Lincoln Logs are the greatest thing EVER. They are so fun!

Um… here ya go 

-$-

Nobody said anything for a moment. We all stood there, Jesse, Paul and I, in a frozen scene.

Then, Jesse took a step forward and Paul pulled harder back on my arm a nanosecond later.

"Let go of her." Jesse whispered. I could see the anger building up like Lincoln Logs in the small motel room.

Paul threw back his head and laughed. "As if, Jesse! I let Suze go once, and it was the biggest mistake I ever made. I won't give her up to you now."

Jesse took a few more steps forward until he was directly in front of Paul. Then, to my extreme surprise, withdrew a pocket knife and flicked it open. He held it directly in front of Paul's face.

"I said to let her go." Jesse repeated, even more softly this time.

Paul, the coward that he was, immediately released my arm.

Jesse withdrew his knife. He turned to leave and I began to follow, but Paul's voice stopped both of us.

"Suze," he called softly. "Is it _really _Jesse you want to be with?"

I turned around, probably the stupidest thing I could have done at that moment.

Paul was looking at me. His blue eyes that were usually filled with amusement and power now just looked sad. It seemed as though my only goal in life was to make the sadness leave his eyes.

I took a step toward him and he held out a hand. Another step, closer….

"Querida." I turned and saw Jesse's eyes, exactly the same as Paul's, only in a rich brown shade as opposed to crisp blue.

I suddenly realized the hellish situation I was in. I had to choose. Jesse or Paul.

Closing my eyes, I tried to concentrate. I remembered the wall incident, but Jesse was the one I had married.

Decisively, I flickered my eyes open and ran towards Jesse.

We hugged quickly, but soon turned back around to face Paul.

To my utter surprise, Paul was smirking.

"I thought it was the worst thing that happened to me Suze, when we separated. But now I realize it wasn't bad at all. And you're going to pay for it."

I wanted to explain to Paul that that made no sense whatsoever. Why would I need to pay for something that wasn't bad? However, I knew this would just piss Paul off even more than he currently was.

Paul was suddenly gone, he had shifted.

Jesse sighed and ran his tan hand back through his hair.

"Come on, querida, let's go home."

-$-

The ride home was silent and tense.

I was ashamed that I had even thought about going to Paul. I mean, Jesse was my HUSBAND, right?

"Jesse… you know I would never choose Paul over you, right?"

Jesse was quiet for a moment, his hands tightened on the steering wheel. Then, at last, he said, "Yes, querida. I know that."

"Good." I murmured so softly I doubt he even heard me.

I knew we were both working over in our heads what Paul had said about me having to pay. I wanted to know what Jesse thought about it, but I believed it was best to just remain quiet.

Jesse pulled into the driveway without me realizing it. I was so deep in thought that I didn't even realize we'd been sitting in the car for about five minutes without doing anything.

I suddenly jolted alive when I saw we were home. I dragged myself out of the car and into the house.

Jesse did not follow me.

This seemed strange to me, but I went ahead and got ready for bed. Once I finished, I went back into the driveway in my robe.

Jesse remained in the car.

I walked over and knocked on the window of the car. Jesse still didn't get out, but at least his head turned the slightest bit and nodded to acknowledge me.

I sighed. Why the hell was he still sitting in the car? I pulled open the drivers door and gently put my hand on Jesse's arm.

"Come on, Jesse. It's time to go in."

"I don't… Susannah, I don't want to. I can't."

I stepped back. What? He physically could not get out of the car?

"Of course you can! Come on!" I repeated, tugging slightly at his arm.

He looked up at me, his eyes large and the deepest brown I had ever seen them without turning black.

"I don't think we can live together anymore." he said shortly.

"…"

"Querida?"

"…"

"Querida, say something."

"…"

"Please?"

"…"

He sighed. "Look, Susannah, I know it may seem like I'm doing this to punish you but I'm not. Really, I want to protect you."

I still remained silent. What the hell was he talking about?

"I know one of the powers of a mediator is that they can put their soul in another's body. I'm worried Paul may kill me and take my body to get to you."

Although I desperately wanted to, I couldn't seem to form words.

"I just don't want you to get hurt and think it's me. Well, I mean, of course I don't want you hurt at all. But I would kill myself before I let you think I would ever do anything to harm you."

Jesse was about to go off on a babbling rampage if I didn't intervene, so I finally choked out some noises that seemed to form something resembling English.

"Where… go… you… are?" I didn't think those words were in the right order or if they even made the slightest bit of sense, but Jesse seemed to understand.

"I don't know. I was thinking maybe Canda. And you should go too, very far away, maybe Europe would be good."

"EUROPE?" I finally managed to say. "You want me to go to EUROPE to escape from Paul? While you stay in Canada, with an entire ocean between us? No freaking way!"

"Susannah," he soothed. "Don't worry. It will be short term, I believe. Just until Paul-"

"You b.. b… _believe_?" I stammered. "As in, you're not really sure and we may never see each other ever again?"

"Well…" Jesse wasn't ready to admit it.

"No, Jesse. I'm not letting Paul ruin our lives."

Jesse looked tired. He seemed to slump down far into the driver's seat, but then straightened up and stepped out of the car.

"Okay," he agreed and he took my hand in his and gently kissed me on the lips.

Then, wrapping an arm around my waist, we walked together down the walkway to our house.

-$-

Okay, I know that was still short but I wanted to get something out to you since I haven't updated all week. Please review!


	7. Author's Note

Hello, readers. I'm sorry to say that I'll be canceling any future updates on this fanfiction. I really need to keep up my grades in school and am already pretty busy, so I really don't have time to write, unfortunately.

I'll still be reading and reviewing stories and hopefully starting a different story over the summer when I have more time!

Thanks everyone for being great reviewers! You put sunshine in my day and I'll miss having time to write!

Love,

Lucy

P.S. And a super-big thanks to trisisabel, whose multiple reviews to each chapter guilted me enough into writing more! Heh… love ya!


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